Lately God has been extremely amazing, even in the smallest ways. He has brought me out of sadness and confusion so many times. And although many of the reasons why I was sad are personal, all that's important now is that He's helping me!
I feel so extremely excited! You have like NO idea.
I feel like this miracle is going to come, whatever it may be, and whoever it may concern, I just feel it coming. I'm really happy that God has helped me to realize this and that He's given me a lot of hope.
There are many other things I've been thinking about too, but things that put a smile on my face. Just thinking about where I'm at in life and where it'll lead me. I know I'm going to be even happier when the miracle comes! =]
Thank You, God, for everything!
ALSO! In 15 days I'm heading to Utah to visit my friend Katrina! I'm excited to be not only traveling out of this time zone for the first time, but also to meet Katrina for the first time. I know we are going to have so much fun! We will be having photo shoots and whatnot!
Until then, I'm going to be expecting lots of blessings because of God's amazing LOVE. ♥
~Stephanie
I will remain in high hopes that through my colloquy of heart to confession, you will come to thoroughly penetrate the very entity of my enduring fidelity.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
EXCITING NEWS!
UTAH IS SO SOON!!
19 more days.
June 3rd I leave, June 4th I arrive. - June 12th I leave :(, June13th I get home.
I'm visiting Katrina. :)
Also! Update on my life...
God has been somehow working lately and it's AWESOME. Nothing even had to happen, but rather the happiness and good feeling I have. Which could very well be for what is GOING to happen, whatever that may be. As in God is just preparing me. But that's okay. I'm going to completely trust Him in this!
This actually always seems to happen once I pray a certain prayer...
;)
~Stephanie
19 more days.
June 3rd I leave, June 4th I arrive. - June 12th I leave :(, June13th I get home.
I'm visiting Katrina. :)
Also! Update on my life...
God has been somehow working lately and it's AWESOME. Nothing even had to happen, but rather the happiness and good feeling I have. Which could very well be for what is GOING to happen, whatever that may be. As in God is just preparing me. But that's okay. I'm going to completely trust Him in this!
This actually always seems to happen once I pray a certain prayer...
;)
~Stephanie
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Deep Pain...
It hurt.
It was this deep pain, as I tried so hard not to cry in church.
To try so hard not to blame anything.
And it hurt worse to think of accepting that it happened, but it did.
Was it even a big deal?
I guess it was to me. Especially with no words to follow, but silence.
Silence again.
I'm finding that silence has become a weapon, and it hurts. What's worse? Stinging words against your ears, or the silence of what's unspoken? The silence of pain.
Would ii be better if I just left? Would it be better if I stopped caring and moved on? Would it be better if I absolutely said nothing and let the friendship die? Would you rather me leave your life? I'd only do it if you asked--as much as it would hurt me so deep inside, I'd do it for you.
Maybe secretly I wouldn't want to do it for you, but if it gave you happiness, I'd force myself.
I'm at a loss for words now, writing anonymously in this blog. Hoping that eventually the silence would leave me alone. I'd rather you yelling at me! I'd rather you hurting me face to face than to get up and leave.
It's not that I want you to yell. I'd actually hope we had no reason to argue, that there was no reason for you to hurt me face to face.
It's going to hurt, I understand that. I understand that because I made the choice to LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. Is it my fault then? I don't know. I'll take blame. But I cannot refuse or turn anyone down that God has created and put into my life. Each person He gave me has a purpose, and that means you do too.
As much as it has caused pain for the last 9 months, off and on, especially the last 3, I'm somehow thankful at the same time, because it is exactly this that brought me back closer to God. YOU brought me closer. I started reading more, I started caring more, I started actually showing God that I am serious when I say He is GOD.
Whether I mean nothing more than just a person you befriended in high school, you'll always have purpose to me.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
It was this deep pain, as I tried so hard not to cry in church.
To try so hard not to blame anything.
And it hurt worse to think of accepting that it happened, but it did.
Was it even a big deal?
I guess it was to me. Especially with no words to follow, but silence.
Silence again.
I'm finding that silence has become a weapon, and it hurts. What's worse? Stinging words against your ears, or the silence of what's unspoken? The silence of pain.
Would ii be better if I just left? Would it be better if I stopped caring and moved on? Would it be better if I absolutely said nothing and let the friendship die? Would you rather me leave your life? I'd only do it if you asked--as much as it would hurt me so deep inside, I'd do it for you.
Maybe secretly I wouldn't want to do it for you, but if it gave you happiness, I'd force myself.
I'm at a loss for words now, writing anonymously in this blog. Hoping that eventually the silence would leave me alone. I'd rather you yelling at me! I'd rather you hurting me face to face than to get up and leave.
It's not that I want you to yell. I'd actually hope we had no reason to argue, that there was no reason for you to hurt me face to face.
It's going to hurt, I understand that. I understand that because I made the choice to LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. Is it my fault then? I don't know. I'll take blame. But I cannot refuse or turn anyone down that God has created and put into my life. Each person He gave me has a purpose, and that means you do too.
As much as it has caused pain for the last 9 months, off and on, especially the last 3, I'm somehow thankful at the same time, because it is exactly this that brought me back closer to God. YOU brought me closer. I started reading more, I started caring more, I started actually showing God that I am serious when I say He is GOD.
Whether I mean nothing more than just a person you befriended in high school, you'll always have purpose to me.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Don't Forget. [Old Poem]
I found this old poem from July 2007 that I wrote to a photo. For some reason, I really like it! And I don't really remember writing it, nor do I remember why I wrote it...
And as you ponder through life,
Smiling here and there,
Just remember this one thing,
I'll be everywhere.
I'll be the laugh in your voice,
The shine in your eyes,
The pain in your heart,
The tears in your cries.
And as you ponder through life,
Wondering who I was,
Remember why you smile,
Remember what it does.
You're holding on to me,
In every chance you get.
And when you realize why I came...
Please promise you won't forget.
And as you ponder through life,
Smiling here and there,
Just remember this one thing,
I'll be everywhere.
I'll be the laugh in your voice,
The shine in your eyes,
The pain in your heart,
The tears in your cries.
And as you ponder through life,
Wondering who I was,
Remember why you smile,
Remember what it does.
You're holding on to me,
In every chance you get.
And when you realize why I came...
Please promise you won't forget.
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