If You Choose to Say Good-Bye.

You hide your face from me and I know you do. You're holding secrets again because you're afraid to see my reaction. But I think that's fair, for I'm afraid of it too. I'll avoid your gaze because you'll read my eyes too easily. I'm at the point of forcing myself to hold on because it's not coming naturally. Now I sincerely hate this in a way that I might regret, but I'm risking that. Perhaps you lied to me unintentionally because your point has not been proved. There may be slight gravity during your good days, but the pulling hurts during the other days.

So now we're repeating the past, as you hide everything you're ashamed of from me. I know not, I ask not, and I certainly judge not. If only you had the guts to push me away instead of quietly leaving me here without any further knowledge as to how you feel. Go ahead and blame my emotions for this ridiculous reaction to nothing. You may very well begin to hate me, but I will most definitely remember to love you. It has become the hardest decision I've ever kept.

I keep thanking you for the small things because it helps me forget reality. I think I've almost completely lost the you I knew. But sadly, it has caused no joy. You laugh at different jokes, you smile at different people, and you listen to a different melody. Why do I try staying in your world when you're clearly moving out? I fear I'll begin to miss our song and I'm not quite sure I want to do that at the moment. But yet now I'm bottling up all the pain and sorrow I've gained in the amount of time we've not talked so deeply.

My friendship does not have to be yours anymore. Then you'll lack the risk of abusing it more and more. You don't have to make any effort to keep it. I won't quietly be next to you. I won't know what you do. I almost don't know anything even with our friendship. I'll stop writing you letters and giving you gifts. I'll walk out the door I came in just as quietly as I had entered over three years ago. You'll continue on in your life the way you want to, whether you get hurt or not. And when everyone has failed you and no one can love you properly the way you should be loved...

Then I'll wish I never had given you the option to say good-bye to me...