Still Holding On.

I have a tendency to forget to push you when you're around. But when you're away I'm crying over how I'm still holding on because I can't find it in my heart to break this. I know what we have is good, and quite a miracle we even have it. But how do I continue on as strong as you? It's as if I'm pretending all is well when truthfully, deep inside, I am quite a vast mess. I'm running and running out of breath. Every step I take, I'm crying to God for strength. I used to take more steps than I do now before falling. I'm too weak to stay, but even more weak to leave.

But I want to show you that I love you enough to let you go. To allow you to go the way you want to go, whether I  be in your story or not. I'll always be here for you though. You can trust that my hand will stay opened. And at any moment you can take my reach and come back. I'll be looking for the perfect words, even though I may never find them. I'll continue this walk and if I glance back for just a second, I'll always hope your smile finds my eyes. When I shed a tear, just know your reflection will make them come alive. I will not forget you if you run away.

I'll keep holding on.