I remember this part quite well. I never liked it because it felt like the end of hope in the most horrible feeling. But I've always overcome this part of the battle and I tend to lack to remember that. I just want to get it over with. I did this once, why again? It's become too hard for me to rightfully endure. But in no way do I desire to just cop out of this race. I want out but at the same time I want to stay in and watch it evolve into something rewarding. I'm having such a hard time accepting my current state of mind.
I had hope snatched from my grasp and stolen from me and I'm determined to get it back. Life without it sure does prove to be almost lifeless. Why must I question everything all over again when the answer was always staring me in the face? What appears to be so now is only temporary and I've been told plenty times it is not over. There are still more words to be written in this story of my life. And if I give up now, I'll only get worse. As much as I wish this were over, the longer I suffer, the more rewarding my prize will be. And the more I'll appreciate it.
I can do this.
I will remain in high hopes that through my colloquy of heart to confession, you will come to thoroughly penetrate the very entity of my enduring fidelity.
1 comment:
The way you write reminds me so much of myself.
But this is very true. You can't give up, ever. The ride is never smooth, there for you must take the bumps as they come so that one day it will be smooth sailing =]
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