Hungry Eyes.

He stared at me with his hungry eyes and it disgusted me. I felt so misplaced, so uncomfortable. He acted like he was in the right and flashed a smile that pleased me not. I knew what was on his mind and I wish he removed it. He tried to say every right word as well as finding every single thing he can to have in common with me. His effort was pointless, but he kept at it. He acted like he knew exactly what would happen, but yet he knew nothing at all. I had no intention to give in or enjoy what displeased me. I only longed to be somewhere else where I would be a someone instead of a something.

I never dreamed of this before, nor did I desire it in any way. This was something I avoided. I was ashamed for every single starving pair of eyes that ever crossed my path. I knew there was more than this in a sea of fish. I'll patiently dismiss all who only see my face. I crave deep and hard for the one who is capable of traveling into my heart to discover what's genuine. There will be no need to try so very hard, for he will not have to try at all. He will paint smiles on my face quite easily and place laughter upon us. He will scream in a room of silence by doing nothing at all. I will see him walk in and I will know exactly what I had been hoping for. He will be the image that I tried making out years ago--clear and crisp.

And I will love him.

What is, is Could Be.

Sometimes I do wish that I could explain with the most perfect words you've ever heard before. I'd tell you how entirely wonderful it feels to have you seated directly across from me. You see, you're someone else to the world. Someone unknown and so hidden in an open way. They know not what you're capable of designing and painting. The art of your smile deserves the attention, but worry not, I'll pay it all of mine. You've a way of directing the music I'm able to produce. Through melody we have communication going on here and an intense amount of joy on my part. Your eyes have this way of taking the dance floor while mine join along. They desire deeply to begin such a dance and I cannot blink them to stop. 


I know in your heart there's a simple beat for me. Somewhere tucked nicely beneath the surface it's making motion. But your complicated mind will not give up on pulling you away. And in your pull, you're pushing me as I forgive you for each bruise. You cannot fake that sparkle I see, nor the pulse in your laughter. I'm too afraid to just pass this up, in fear that one day you'll understand and you'll lose me. As a selfless act, I'm sticking around until the end of this. I'll overcome my insecurities as you become true, honest, and sincere. Please do so serve me a favor and make my unconditional love a promise.


You assumed I imagined a future with us. Of course, your assumption was correct. Simply because I could not dare imagine a future without you. My imagination becomes mirthful with the thought of you. I shall not force anything upon you, I just want you to understand. I've the faith to move an entire mountain, but I'm still climbing one at the moment. Do not take offense that I have much  hope. We're capable of the impossible and the existence of specialty. 


Give me a chance to prove to you that I can indeed love you for the rest of my entire life. Just let me love you.

Night's Bride.

It was incredibly bright last night. I was unaware that it was staring at me until I crawled over and lifted the blinds. Upon opening the window, the cool breeze swept me away into a mind daze, where every thought danced their ways around me. I remembered those simple words that were whispered to me quite a long while back. As I gazed long and hard at what shined down on me, I allowed the tiny tears to break through. I'm so very small compared to the colossal world around me. There is so much more than what I can see.

Its light was the very reflection of the sun. For in the night, when all went dark, there was still a light provided for us to see. It caused me to believe we as people could reflect such light to those who got lost in the dark. And all I wanted to be was just like the beautiful diamond in the sky.

One particular soul lives comfortably in the home of my heart, and I want to prove to have built the best place to dwell in. I never want to cease to love, nor do I want to breathe a lie. Where he abides, I shall tend to. I may not have dreamed this years ago, but I find myself greatly thankful. I know this requires the most selfless attitude to persist, but I will swim an entire ocean to do so. I give all my strength to be used for this and all my patience as well. I want to be used until I've done my absolute best. And then some.

The brightness was beautiful to linger on. It was night's bride, so pure and promising. My eyes could dance for hours looking up at the innocence of its existence. It consists of the very light that finds us at dawn. I know of only one thing that proves to be more beautiful: what I chose to shine for.

I Stand Back Up For You.

Do you know what I thought of the moment my hands hit the ground? Do you know what I saw when I ever so harshly closed my eyes? My heart pounded much faster than its comfort zone. Perhaps you forgot how fast I got back up on my feet. Maybe you didn't notice that I found my perfect solution to each cry. Or maybe you just looked away the moment I stood to my feet and continued on. Because you see, I've gone out of my way to straighten my priorities. You happen to sit nicely near the top and to push you away would spell selfish across my face.

The moment my hands hit the ground, I thought of you. What I saw when I closed my eyes was your indescribable smile. And I know you may not understand, and you may think that I am only hurting myself. But, my dear, I am not. For I am growing beyond what you can imagine and I'm loving you just the way you are. You became my true test. I only desired that I would ace this test because I do love you.

Unfortunately for me, I'm not quite sure you've chosen to love me for me. And although I want to believe it with my entire heart, I fear our situation was twisted in unintentional ways. I am who I am just as much as you are who you are. And I only wish you'd love me just the same as I love you. Somehow though, I will be silently scolded by you. You've whispered into my heart that I will not be receiving the respect you used to have. I chose to look beyond that, I chose to forgive you and forget it. And as it quietly haunts my mind, I still have enough faith to believe that you did not mean it.

Maybe you've pushed me outside of your heart because you were afraid of how close I got to it. Maybe you're so apprehensive to feel any type of guilt that you pretend none of this matters. But it does matter, you see. You do care. And at the small, tiny moment that you realized it, you ran to a hiding place. This is not what you want, yet it was happening to you. So you put me softly on the other side of your wall so that I cannot touch you. I went along with it and I stood smiling at you through the window just to keep a friendship with you. And from that distance, I was just glad to see you smile in return.

Darling, you do not need to pretend anymore. Please just promise me you will not throw away what we both secretly know we've created. Our roots are too deep, and I'm just not strong enough to dig them out. For I'm hardly strong enough to be strong in front of you. But when you look at me, my tears are much too afraid to meet you. But I sincerely do wish that if they ever escape my eyes, you will know then that I truly do love you. Just enough to fall a part for you.

I stand right back up to continue on so I can see you happy.
Again.