When I'm Around You.

I'll be honest with you. I tried to knock on the door in calmness and wait for your face to appear on the other side upon the opening. I tried to act what normal is said to be when I walked in. I tried to ignore those tiny thoughts that scattered across my mind. I tried to give you the gifts I had with glee and saw that my hands were shaking. I tried to calm them, hoping you did not notice. I tried to pretend I was completely fine, just like you seemed to be. My mind, my heartbeat, it was on a fast track and I could not slow it down enough. I tried to expand the time somehow to become much longer because I knew I was happy there.

When I left, I hated it. I wanted to run back and have ice cream with you. I know it may not be what I dream it to be, but it's something nonetheless. I only cry because I wish you understood and saw what I saw. I try to control this as best as I could because I'm so used to it. I control it without thinking. But I think about it the whole entire time. I enjoy your company with the constant thought that I love you. I ponder on your entity, wishing I could take care of it for the rest of your life. I dream to be your helper and you don't even know.

You may not see me the way I see you. But I guess I'm still glad you see me. I guess I'm still happy there's time. Just as long as you and I are alive. Just as long as my heart is still beating for you. There's time.