Silent Mistake.

The words have left my inner being, my hands lost inspiration. That fire you lit isn't burning because I blew it out. Now I'm at a loss for words and they're nowhere to be found. My heart sinks to the bottom and all I can do is look up. For such a long time I just waited, doing all that I can to pass the time. Here I am at the end of a year and I weep ever too often. I intensely feel that somewhere along the way I have made a mistake. It is now a mistake I do not know how to fix. I've turned to God, as I always have, and clinging tightly is so hard to do. My fingers slip easily and now I'm begging Him to grab hold of me as tight as He can. I'm seeking answers that will take away the pain momentarily and put me on the right path. The mistake I feel I've made was my current silence.

God asked me to love you, and here I am leaving you to be alone and without me. At this distance I cannot even speak words of life to you. I cannot make you smile, nor share with you my own accomplishments. I suppose I've nothing for you to smile at though, and any accomplishments that might exist most likely don't. I took a different turn and discovered you weren't even there, leaving me to now cry upon your absence. But yet I'm trying to continue on, not even knowing why.
I've wrongly left you behind without speaking a word, and you're open to letting me go. I can drift away from your life and you can be free of me.

I still love you. And as long as that is so, I'll be waiting.