Unfair.

The other night I had this extreme breakdown. Suddenly I began to truly and genuinely miss you and how we used to be. I cried so incredibly hard that I had to get up from my laying position in bed, and curl up in a ball to contain the pain. It was unexpected, it really was. I began to play the first album of songs I created for you and I let it all just come out. Soon after I wobbled my way to my closet and pulled out your sweater. The one you gave me about three Christmas's ago. I hugged it, even if the part of you is completely faded from it. Then I went to my jewelry box and finally pulled out the ring you gave me that I had purposely put away for about two months.

I finally allowed myself to let you know how I have missed you in words the very next night. In return, I received nothing at all. And as reality once again hit my heart--that I have lost you--I felt quite broken for a moment. Now my mind merely wishes for the past now, because I cannot feel it anymore. You are not here, and even when you seem to appear for a moment, you leave so utterly fast. If I stop communication, we don't communicate.

I'm the only string holding us together. And if I pull back, we will be nothing.

This is quite unfair... :'(