The truth is...I am having the hardest time internally. I do not even understand my patience anymore. In my mind I am gaining the feelings that tell myself, "I cannot do it." I have to avoid thoughts. I am almost ashamed to admit this, but I hate it. Our situation has changed to what looks like a lost battle that I'm still fighting in. Still, to this day, I am drawn to you? Still, to this day, I love you? Still, to this day, I find you worth it? Still, to this day. Five years later.
I want to SCREAM this to you and yet all I can do is say nothing. I wonder if you know how hard that is for me.
I will remain in high hopes that through my colloquy of heart to confession, you will come to thoroughly penetrate the very entity of my enduring fidelity.
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