Prolonging the Rid of Us.

I keep considering that good-bye to your wonderful being. I'm extending the days and weeks that I keep you, but counting down the days until I watch you walk away. Where I want you is where you'll be truly happy, instead of standing next to me. But I know I have this everlasting it seems faith, something that has not left me. It remains embedded into my heart, a small little hope that soon you'll come at me, running in full speed and I'll hold on tight and never let go. I dream of a day you'll look at me and realize I've desired to love you my entire life, before I even knew you. I still want to hold onto that hope, that faith, and it has caused me to cry with an intense amount of passion ever so often at the thought of actually leaving you.

Maybe I am really afraid of what your departure would actually do to me. I prolong the rid of us at every smile and laughter we share, never ready to bravely say good bye. This is what you wanted me to do, that if I couldn't contain my feelings I'd walk away. Around you I pretend to contain them, but I know they're running in circles in my mind, screaming at me so loudly that I cannot see past them when I look at you. I'm silently begging you to hear me out and make it all go away. But your honesty is so frightening because I selfishly want to hear that you just love me. I've grown too attached to detach and too in love to forget.