Your Easy Way Out.

I'm convinced that you yourself don't even know who you are anymore. From the person I met, to the person I lost, you changed in the most heart-wrenching way. Your peers easily pressured you, and you were influenced dramatically by everyone except I. As I let you go with a tight grip, I clenched my teeth to reality. You were never ready for me and I was completely ready for you. I ignored your flaws for so long, until they simply pushed me away. It is an intense battle to refuse to stare those flaws in the face right now. I dislike this so very much and I stand here so helpless to you.

I've been reliving memories, and planning out the way I'll accept you right back into my life if you so choose to return. I've spent my days with no point but to pass them by as quickly as possible. The only connection we now have is a social networking site, and I'm surprised you keep us connected there. It's not in my heart to cut off that vessel, but it hurts to see the tiniest thing from you that shows you are not you anymore. Perhaps you drink your sorrows away, or follow the big crowd now. Maybe you don't even take your own path because you forgot how. Have your words you wrote sincerely to me in that unfinished journal become forgotten? All I ever wanted to do for you was make you happy. I sent you away with my last attempt--your birthday gifts.

Each night when I dream, you make your faithful appearance. The human part of me wants to become angry, as if you never deserved my love. But no one deserves love. It's just a choice we have to make to the ones that come along in our life. And I chose to apply it to our friendship and your existence in my life. Who you were to me, and who you were around me was this magnificent and beautiful person that I saw, waiting to erupt to show the whole world how you can be. But when you chose the man who gave me up, I almost felt the world weep with me.

But here I am, waiting anyway, for God knows why. Each day I think a thought of you and hope that soon enough you'll return to me and explain why you ever received me before. Your deep seeded guilt developed not because I cried over you, but because you couldn't choose to love me the way I loved you. You made the choice to take the easy way out and you walked away. Walking away myself would have been the hardest way. My easy way out was to keep you around. I suppose we're even now.

When you decided we should part ways, it wasn't for me to be healthy. No, your decision was solely on you, for you, and because of you. It wasn't the "right" thing to do. There was no right or wrong to be made. It was your simple choice to cop out. It was your chance to finally give me up for the life you wanted more. You sacrificed our entire friendship as to never be with me. And yet you asked me to forget you. You changed in a matter of minutes. In result, I lost my best friend to the lifestyle that could never accept me, nor love me.

And yet I love you.