Teaser.

Going with the flow may not be the most ideal way to make it all easier. But temporarily it is working. Eventually I'll crack into a few more pieces as I hear you explain to me that you'll never actually mean what you show and feel the way you appear sometimes. I suppose it never stopped you before, my honesty. You always come back, closer than ever, and you're somehow affectionate all over again. Even in such a joking manner, you do it so well. I'd hate to believe you're teasing me, but in a way, you technically are. You never seemed to want to dangle such a carrot in my face, as you proclaimed. But you are.

And it's not even a carrot. It's more like a diamond ring that, had I owned it, I'd be connected to you. It's exactly what I could simply dream of, but exactly what you allow me not to grasp. You see, that's far more valuable than a carrot. My heart never allows me to forget how much you mean to me. You run around knowing I can't catch you. It's almost as if you're doing all of this so intentionally, just to mess with my mind and heart. But even when I dislike you at times, I still love you. I still want to. And I ache at your long absence.

Subconsciously I want to get you all the gifts I could, all the things you want and all the things you need. Because apparently I'm still trying to win you over without even realizing it at times. Even though it never works that way, I still have a slight slice of hope inside of me in doing so. I expect not, but I hope plenty. I've come to really realize this by digging deep inside of myself. What am I doing, and why am I still doing it?

But I never want to say I gave up on you.