The End of a Storm.

And just like that it is all coming to a conclusion.

My time was spent wisely and I can only hope my point was made. It will not be I who he turns down but God. And as I still say a prayer that God will not give up on him, I have to hand him over. I have loved as best as I could the entire time. The feelings that I possessed weren't nearly important. But it was rather my calling. Did I go wrong somewhere along the line? I'm not quite sure. Maybe in the end I slowed down because I lost the knowledge of how to properly fight. But I am done. Is God done? Certainly not. It is my time to just be still and know. To just put my entire trust into my Creator and hope that the difference I made will someday be noticed, even if it takes a long time.

He has made his point plenty of times, I heard it once, twice, ten times and more. I understood it from the first time just as much as I understood it from the last time. The only problem is that he never heard me. He never got my point, nor did he ever get the hint. He sadly headed toward a road of selfishness and I broken-heartily watched him downgrade. Would he ever know how silent I made myself for the sake of him? Would he know how much I sacrificed as to keep him happy and not upset with me? No, probably not. Because all the right things go unnoticed and all the wrong things are clear as day.

I pray now that I may gain my patience back. I pray that I can still see him with love and not give in to anger. He is a human being, just as I am. No matter how many mistakes we each make, we're all loved equally by God. Even if not all of us accept His love, He still offers the same amount to each of us. Whether we come to Him early in life, or at last minute. Our wages are the same.

I stuck around to love him not for myself. I did it for him. I did it for him because without him, I would still be loved and saved by God. Without him, I could still live my life and know that in the end, I will be protected. But I too often questioned where he stood. I too often wondered if he was missing out on the blessings God prepared for him. I loved him so that he would understand, so that he would see how utterly in love God is with him. I loved him unconditionally, no matter how much it hurt, JUST SO HE COULD SEE.

All that I've done for him, all that I've accomplished, and the faith that I stubbornly kept will not go unnoticed to God. You see, this had nothing to do with my feelings. Yes, I gave in to them, I cried over them, but I was determined to get right back up once again and fight. To him I needed to move on. To me...I was afraid to see him suffer the consequences he risked. I was afraid to let the world suck him in so deep that he'd end up on the floor again with no strength to continue on.

This was a battle for a lost soul, a soul who needed a pick-me-up. I knew my heart meant well by its ability to persevere. I knew God could pull me out of anything if I fell too far, or too deep into the pain along the way. I knew I would be safe, I would make it through. I knew that when I died one day, God would take me Home. But it was that particular being placed into my life that I questioned. It was THEIR soul that became important. And determined to see that changed, I accepted the calling and prepared myself.

But my time must be over. I am no longer wanted nor needed by him. I can no longer be that person in his life. So I give him up to God and ask...that He never gives up on him. And I'll never give up the hope for a miracle I'd die to see.

Jesus died for you, my dearest moose. And I got to learn why. I hope you consider Him soon.