I Found Myself.

I remember clearly the excitement I received in July of 2012. I was at a crossroads in life, wondering what would be next part in my life, but being utterly excited for it. As the pure happiness began to depend on reality and fade slowly, I received the effects of nearing my next path. Soon enough the negative habits, fears, and past reactions began to come out of me. Not to hurt me or ruin me though, but rather to mold me and fix me. Each little lesson came, one after the other, and to this day I am changing myself to become better. Although I was so familiar with older patterns and reactions, I needed to learn new ways to handle situations yet hold on to the knowledge I had from what I've already learned.

I may not fully understand the purpose of a few things that began in this new life of mine, but I'm slowly but surely dealing with handling it. I'm learning another type of patience now, and every part of me desires to have that type. I want to prove my patience, and trust that God has a plan and that it'll be beautiful. As much as I wish I knew this plan, sometimes surprises make things better. And I must prepare myself to be surprised by taking no guesses, and hoping in what I do not know. Sure, I may have my own wants, but I cannot fully know what I want until I already have it. Therefore, if I do not have it, I don't know if I want it.

Meanwhile I am preparing for a big step I'm going to take in life. I feel like it is the key to the next step. That I may be hoping for one thing, but will come home with something entirely new. One step at a time, I say. My first step to following my dream was taking a leap of faith and applying for a passport without having a country or location chosen. I went for it and by the time I received it, I had already a place to go and all pieces fell together. I had a friend who offered me a place to stay, right over the Atlantic Ocean. I'm to go to the...United Kingdom! I've always been intrigued by anything British, and the more I learn about its difference, the more exciting it becomes!

I'm an American. This is all I know. We drive on the right side of the road and our presidents get worse over time. We're lazy and rely way too much on this government. Now, I myself may be in my own little world, hardly paying any attention to the rest of the country. But it would be so neat to view life through someone's else's eyes (specifically British eyes in this case). Not only am I going somewhere new, but I'm leaving the entire continent to experience that! I love heights, but have never been on a plane, and it's just something I genuinely want to experience! It feels like a new journey I am able to take. That once this trip begins, I will start learning something new about myself.

I'm not entirely sure what more purpose this trip will have, but I feel really excited about it. Doors have been opening and others have been shutting, and I'm figuring myself out! I'm here. I'm to this point. I've found myself again. And I'm happy.