Long Distant Nonexistent Relationship.

It's like having a long distance relationship in which you receive no replies but you love them tremendously. Only in my case I do not know who they are and it's difficult to imagine who they'll be. But I am quite attached. I feel it is safer to be attached to a thought rather than to an actual person that I know. Because if I attached myself to someone I know, I'd be in an unrequited love relationship and it would only hurt me. But I know I cannot go back down that road.

Each day I've been much better at handling things. I'm keeping my focus on working to earn money so that I could fulfill my wish to travel overseas next Summer. Whatever God has for me will come my way and fit perfectly into my schedule. Sometimes I do wonder if there is anything extra I can do to help certain areas in my life. But I should be thankful that I am alive and not sad anymore.

My emotions have been somewhat up and down, but ultimately I know that I am okay. I want to get lost in God again. I want to feel that intense amount of happiness that I once had. I want to feel the hope deep inside. To see big change in my life all over again. I imagine that there is a lot more to this story of mine, because some things have not come to an end yet. But I really hope that they do. Soon.

But each night that I lay down to rest, I enter this imaginary world where I have a special someone right next to me. I'm not sure what is taking him so long to come along. I know he has to be out there, and I've been waiting for him with a pure heart. But no one else seems to cross my path, so I live each new day in hopes that our meet will be soon. And even though there are occasionally some who seem to be seeking or showing interest in me via personal messages on networking sites, no part of me feels drawn and not attractions occurs.

Maybe I have this image in my head that causes me to feel like I'm waiting to see a certain type of human being. But so far I've only met a glimpse of him. Now I'm curious of the real deal. I'm under the impression I may not be meeting him this year, but perhaps next year. Good thing this year is nearing its end! But I must endure yet another set of holidays without him. I really want this year to be the last year that I spend Christmas without him! I'm not sure where to look, but I hope that as I continue on in my life, with nothing holding me back, he will appear on perfect timing and I he will not give up on me.