A Wise Avoidance.

There are places in my past that are much too heart-piercing to return to. Places that have previously shattered me in such ugly ways, that I could never explain it. It's a part that I finally got through, and to go back and read evidence of it spills a rather disgusting acid inside of my heart. The present has served to be a much better place, but it's a great shame at how frightened I am to glance at that specific part in my past.

Of course, none of it is what I've done, but what I've seen. What I've witnessed. The effects of the soul I attached myself to. I could never understand how it got the way it did, but I am glad it is not there anymore. I was too afraid to accept where I stood. I was beyond terrified at how far it could go. As I continued to ignore the woeful thoughts, I tried so hard to focus just on God. You see, He gave me the peace I really did need. He gave me the hope I couldn't find anywhere else. He gave me the knowledge to understand He can fix my problems. He brought me through such a dark and horrible storm. But I did not escape alone.

I like to think that I brought sunlight in even the smallest way into the life that I watched. That I ran my way through the storm so that he could make it through too. Not that I was saving him, but that God was. To bring us to a better today, to understand what is to come. And as the story continues, and we're still seeking answers, we're not where we used to be. This particular soul ended up holding my heart in his hands, and wherever he ran, I felt it. We suffered two different types of pain, but we did not have to be alone. As my empathy came to be, I understood.

Some places need to remain patched up and buried deep into the past. Places that we should avoid because it is sealed; it is done; it is put away. It is forgiven by each party and by God. We are new peoples living in new days. We made it to a completely different year than any before. One filled with possible permanent happiness and overwhelming joy. I may not have the exact answer I was looking for living in front of my eyes or into my embrace. But it's closer than I've ever seen it. It's as if it's one step away. And God got me through it all by two simple words: love him.

Don't go back to what hurt you--it's a wise avoidance.