Because I Love You.

Your reaction was all I needed to know I did the right thing. But as I froze up inside and all thoughts jumbled into one pile somewhere at the top of my brain, you played it out well. I failed to give you my reason into words, but it was there inside my mind. You threw out the word "why" just enough times to give me more opportunities than I should have needed to answer. I sincerely hope you erased any type of thought that says you should feel bad. Because you shouldn't. With my entire heart I desired to get you something you mentioned wanting someday. With every "why" you asked, inside I answered, "Because I love you."

You always show the proper amount of thanks when you receive gifts or are helped. You are humble in the most wonderful way. With the appreciation you have, I couldn't be more happy to give you such a gift. Helping you assemble all the pieces to the product was only half the fun in it all. Being patient with you, helping you, and working as a team puts joy and satisfaction inside of me. I take your hug as a gift back, which holds more value than you know.

Perhaps I cannot have your heart the way you have mine, but if in any way I can make you smile, I'll do. There is an internal fight within me, screaming for the unknown. As I hold it so deep, you don't even know. I wish incredibly so that I could share that, that you would know. But I fear it wouldn't make a difference. I'm trying so hard to be better for you. My arms wanted to embrace you kindly and forever the moment I wrapped them around you. But I ignored the urge and regretted it as usual. My body is literally begging me for you. And it even hurts enough to cry. How can I ignore this?

The more you continue to lure me in, the more I grow deeper in love with you. Here I crave more and it kills me day by day. I pray to God He'll give me patience and help me understand. Why ever would you be here again? Why have you come back to me if I still can't just have you? But I accept it, and I will be thankful. I have you here again. "I never loved a heartache so much until you were the one in the middle."

You deserve to enjoy your room, and to enjoy things that your selflessness refused to give you. You've given me enough to draw me in close, and I owe you more. You take me to places I've never before gone to, and you never expect a single penny from me. With all that I have, I want to give you love. The very love that God desires to give.

I do what I do and give what I give because I love you. ♥