I've Not Lost It.

It's what I'm used to. It's what I've practiced for years now. It's what I invested so much of my time into. It's who I am. It's how I am. It's what I know. To have it taken away was a fear I once dealt with. But somehow, I did not get it taken away. I found it again, right away. Did God set it up this way?

What I'm used to is putting my heart into what I do. Preparing something simple or huge in hopes that it will run so deep for the other person. That is what I've practiced. It'd put a smile on my face to walk into a store knowing I'm about to purchase something that will put a smile on that particular person's face. Did I need to spend money? No. I found meaning in even the simplest of things, like a rock from a special location or card I labored over with construction paper and glitter.

This I've practiced, this I've grown to do, and I've come to realize that I have not lost it. I've too soft of a heart that I wonder, dream, and desire to make a difference in someone's life. To show them how important and loved they are. When I had to let go of the one I practiced this on, I didn't imagine still being able to be that person, even if to someone else now. And that's okay for me. In fact, it has made me even happier because the problem I faced, the situation I dealt with has finally been eliminated. And I sincerely pray it does not repeat this time.

It is enough for me to see his reaction to such a simple gift. It made it all the more worth it to have sent it. To have dealt with shipping fees, and signing a customs declaration. Entirely worth it. It brought back to me the joy in giving and opened my eyes to see who else is out there in this world. And even though he may be across the ocean, he's a specially designed human being just as I am and somehow he came along. He's yet another soul I hope I can shine for.

♥