Something New.

Well how do I start this? I know exactly what's in my mind. It's so much different than before. I literally feel like I've joined an entirely new world. I cannot even try to feel how I felt in the past. It is completely shut back in my timeline and my today is so much better. But without what I went through I could not appreciate this more. I could not say that I've overcome such a huge battle. I could not say I received a miracle.

Anyone who knew me before this change can see clearly that this is indeed a miraculous change. Not that it has changed me as a person, but that my situation has ended. I am not crying myself to sleep, begging God to bring me to the finish line anymore. I've finally reached that finish line. But I had no idea that I'd come out empty handed. But I have. And that means one thing to me.

I loved unconditionally without expecting a penny in return. I walked away in the end with a smile on my face and without what I had selfishly wanted. Although I fought for four years over someone I knew for five years, God doesn't always call us to something for ourselves, but for Him. He calls the unlikely to do the unfathomable. Someone as shy as me was called to apply God's love and speak to someone who was the total opposite.

The part of him that I was attached to was the close bond we created, the excessive amount of laughter, and the idea of having someone I can feel comfortable around. That doesn't necessarily mean he is the only person in the world to be that for me. And now I feel my eyes have opened enough for me to see that God can very well place the exact person I need right into my life the moment I am ready for it. I have learned from that friendship and I have grown so much because of it. I was able to also learn what I need and what I do not need.

Maybe the next person to come along into my life with the ability to break down my walls will be all that I desired before and more. Maybe I won't have to wait much longer. Maybe he'll be the very thing staring me in the face.

♥♥