X Marks the Happiness.

Maybe happiness was a buried treasure in the most obvious places. Maybe happiness had giant, bold, and bright x's for us to find and dig up. Too often we walked right over it. Maybe it's merely our fault for not digging up the happiness.

It's not something we should be afraid of, to dig it up and find it. What if God sprinkled happiness in the most perfect places, so that we can water it and discover it? What if the only reason we don't have happiness is because we don't seek it--we don't find it! I won't be a failure at happiness. I want to embrace it and never let it go.

They say you know when you've found what you're looking for. You know because you stop questioning it. Once you question it, you don't know anymore. They say you just know when you get the right answer. You know because you don't wonder anymore, because you don't doubt you've found it. You know because you feel content and happy about it.

You know because you're happy.

Happiness is exactly where the treasure is. On a map to find the X, we strive to find it fast. But the journey to get the X makes it all the more special. It's happiness on that map, waiting for us to discover it and accept it. Will we bother to find the bold and obvious X? Or will we carelessly walk right over it?

You make the choice.

I'm discovering the happiness and I'm determined to water it.

Donations. :)

I'm trying to build a website, but I'm going to use this blog to test my Donate button!
Accepting donations with the choice of a print in return.
Choice of which photo(s) can be picked from my dA gallery.

There's an option for using your card to donate on the page (you don't need a paypal account).
Cash/check through mail is accepted too!

No Post In Too Long.

Where have I been, you wonder?

I've been living this crazy life of mine--from one extreme to the next. Emotions have been taking care of me, haunting me, torturing me, laughing at me, disagreeing with me, and making my pillow wet. But I've been learning, which is the most important part.

I'm going to have a photo on a book in January (possibly February). I'm really excited that I got the opportunity and really excited to see it! Today I received the check from the company. God has been blessing me. It's not the money that I'm happy about, it's the fact that He takes care of me. :)

That's about all I have to say for now. I'm home alone, but pretty hungry. Perhaps I'll go find something to eat...

In God I trust!

~Stephanie

P.S.
I put up some old blogs I had on my computer. They're underneath this one! :)

A Beautiful Puzzle of Imperfect Perfection.

September 17, 2009

If only I could explain it with perfect words. Too bad the words just do not exist. But that’s okay. Because clandestinely I believe that I do know exactly the thing I cannot explain. I almost lost the treasure, somehow, and I was preparing to move on. But there it goes shining again, finding its way back to me somehow. I feel as if I speak of happiness alone. I’m finding purpose by opening my eyes to my reality. Perhaps the exact thing I needed was just a reminder of what is.

I can hear the melody playing in the background. I’m picturing bright smiles, laughter, and the very presence of bliss. It’s a feeling I’ve missed, a sensation I’d hate to do without. I’m this completely different person when I lack such feelings, ready to give up, prepared to leave. But then I get this grand reminder that I must keep climbing this mountain that I like to call life.

I refuse to miss out on every plan that unfolded so dearly in front of my eyes these past couple years. I’ve received a beautiful puzzle of imperfect perfection—each piece having an intention behind it. It’s okay to believe it; I know it is because I’ve found faith. I’ve found answers to past questions and questions to future inquisitiveness. If only I could take a photograph of this feeling and hang it on my wall. Maybe then I’ll never forget it when I accidentally fall into almost doubt.

I want to savor these moments for as long as I can. I don’t want anything to destroy it anymore because I want to finally enjoy it. Here I am, overtaken by excitement, joy, and innocent impatience. If nothing can be perfectly fine in this world, then I know pain will find me yet again. But I also know I can make it through anything when I perfect a trust.

I’ve gained confidence more than I ever have before. I don’t know what to expect next, but that’s okay. I’ve come to enjoy the unexpected very much. In fact, it’s now what I look forward to. When situations get appalling, they can only get improved after that. Maybe all it ever takes is to believe that you’ll make it through. Maybe this whole time we only needed to believe in what our heart was truly telling us. Whether we can easily recognize that or not, it’s time to just let the words escape. Don’t hesitate to love what could make a difference.

Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes you have to move on. Sometimes you have to leave what you loved most, just so you can recognize it. Just because you let go, doesn’t mean it won’t come back. You must remain patient and you must trust in providence.

Pride is not necessary for letting go.