A Beautiful Puzzle of Imperfect Perfection.

September 17, 2009

If only I could explain it with perfect words. Too bad the words just do not exist. But that’s okay. Because clandestinely I believe that I do know exactly the thing I cannot explain. I almost lost the treasure, somehow, and I was preparing to move on. But there it goes shining again, finding its way back to me somehow. I feel as if I speak of happiness alone. I’m finding purpose by opening my eyes to my reality. Perhaps the exact thing I needed was just a reminder of what is.

I can hear the melody playing in the background. I’m picturing bright smiles, laughter, and the very presence of bliss. It’s a feeling I’ve missed, a sensation I’d hate to do without. I’m this completely different person when I lack such feelings, ready to give up, prepared to leave. But then I get this grand reminder that I must keep climbing this mountain that I like to call life.

I refuse to miss out on every plan that unfolded so dearly in front of my eyes these past couple years. I’ve received a beautiful puzzle of imperfect perfection—each piece having an intention behind it. It’s okay to believe it; I know it is because I’ve found faith. I’ve found answers to past questions and questions to future inquisitiveness. If only I could take a photograph of this feeling and hang it on my wall. Maybe then I’ll never forget it when I accidentally fall into almost doubt.

I want to savor these moments for as long as I can. I don’t want anything to destroy it anymore because I want to finally enjoy it. Here I am, overtaken by excitement, joy, and innocent impatience. If nothing can be perfectly fine in this world, then I know pain will find me yet again. But I also know I can make it through anything when I perfect a trust.

I’ve gained confidence more than I ever have before. I don’t know what to expect next, but that’s okay. I’ve come to enjoy the unexpected very much. In fact, it’s now what I look forward to. When situations get appalling, they can only get improved after that. Maybe all it ever takes is to believe that you’ll make it through. Maybe this whole time we only needed to believe in what our heart was truly telling us. Whether we can easily recognize that or not, it’s time to just let the words escape. Don’t hesitate to love what could make a difference.

Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes you have to move on. Sometimes you have to leave what you loved most, just so you can recognize it. Just because you let go, doesn’t mean it won’t come back. You must remain patient and you must trust in providence.

Pride is not necessary for letting go.