TLW - Random Scenes from My Story.

I was just re-reading my story that I wrote back in 2006. I found some little scenes interesting, for the fact that I wrote it so long ago. Who knows if they have meaning or anything, but I thought I'd put some here... :)

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[May 2, 2011 - Sunday]

"That day will come," he spoke softly.

"I know. And so will yours. Just have to wait, right? Always trust in God."

"You think mine will?"

"Of course." Her gaze went back to his and she gave him a wry smile. "What is it that you really want in this life that God hasn’t given you?"

"I've wanted it since college. Somehow I didn't get it. I'm still waiting." Matthew looked down at his locked hands and chuckled. "Maybe I'm not praying loud enough. Or maybe, like I said, God put me on hold."

Stephanie was struck in the heart at his statement. She knew it wasn't true. "Matthew, God doesn't put anything on hold. Especially his people. He hears you. The time will come. Sometimes it's staring you in the face." She smiled at him as he gazed into her eyes with a serious look.

"Staring me in the face, huh?"

She laughed. "Well, not literally. I always think of the possibilities of how I ended up here and the reason God has me at where I am today."

He glanced at his watch, then up at Laura. "Yeah..." Matthew turned his head to Stephanie. "I guess you're right. You must have a billion people who love you. I honestly didn't think I'd run into someone here that'd make me feel...good about life. Now I seem to have more hope for my dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah."

He never gave her a direct or specific answer and seemed to keep it quiet. She prayed silently for Matthew so he'd find whatever it is he was looking for. Oh, God. Please help Matthew; he really needs You most right now. Help him to find that thing in life that he wants so much. And help me, too. To see the things that are right, and things that are wrong. Thank you, Lord.

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[Sunday, June 4, 2011]

He sent her a smile.

She mentally wiped it off his face. Why does he have to smile like that? Is that what makes her think of him all the time? She can't fall in love with him. She already told herself her whole life she'd not fall in love with some man, only be friends until she felt more...but as a friend. Except, is she shutting down all men when she does that? Where is Mr. Right and how will she know?

Sometimes it's staring you in the face. Her own words came to mind. The only thing staring her in the face was his smile.

"...which helped, went to a four year college, found a job, moved to Gilroy and started my life." He finished his speech, which she felt bad for since she ignored half of it.

"Wow."

He chuckled. "You didn't catch any of that, did you?"

How would he know? She smirked. "Yes, I did. Sorry, I may have missed some, though. I can't think lately."

"Me, neither. Join the club." He leaned his elbows on the table.

"Sure, why not? What's the password?" She joked.

"Daydreaming."


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[June 16, 2011, Friday]

Stephanie headed to her car again and thanked God for everything she could think of. God, I know you have big plans for my life, and I'm trying my best to follow You and serve You. Give me signs to help me to follow Your plans. If I'm wrong in a way, show me, please. I love You so much. Oh, and please protect Matthew and bless him. He's a great guy. If so, let my future husband be like him. But I confess, I wish he were mine. If I'm wrong, send me a sign, God. Thank you.

Arriving home, Stephanie walked inside once at the door and sighed. She missed that day she bumped into Matthew at the store. She missed the day she went out for lunch with him. She missed the day when she went out to get ice cream with him. The day when they were at the park. She missed when he would laugh and look at her as if she mattered. She missed his blue eyes and the crease in his cheek when he grinned. She even missed the warmth of his hand over hers when he walked her and Laura across the street.

She missed him the most. She missed the way he made her feel comfortable around him. His funny jokes, his personality, his beliefs, him.

"Er!" Stephanie fell face down on her bed and covered her head with her pillow. "Get out of my head, Matthew. Oh, God. Why am I feeling like this?" She was mumbling into the bed as she spoke, and didn't care that she wanted to cry. She could feel the tears coming and soaking into the blanket. "Why do I miss him? Is this what is to happen? I know there has to be a reason why we met. I think my heart is unlocked, God. I think I met whom you gave the key to. Please stop this feeling if it's wrong. I don't want to fall in love with the wrong person. Except Matthew seems too perfect. Is he my prince charming? Please help me to understand your plans. I will always trust you, Lord." She turned her head so her cheek lay on the pillow and closed her eyes.

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[June 17, 2011, Saturday]

"Ready to go, ladies?" asked Matthew as everyone stood. Stephanie got up quickly and nodded.

"Yep, let's go," said Sarah, grabbing her bag from the couch.

Daniel reached for Sarah's hand and they walked together outside. Once Stephanie stepped outside and Matthew shortly after, Daniel shut the door and locked up. He found his way back to Sarah's side and she smiled at him. They laughed at something as she looked up at Daniel. Stephanie wanted that.

She looked at Matthew and realized he was watching her. She felt uncomfortable and looked away, walking closer to him now. She wanted to be near him because she wanted him. She wanted to hug him and ask him if everything will be okay. If he'll protect her and never let go. But she wanted something else, too. She wanted him to love her back.

He saw her expression, he must have. Because now he lightly touched her arm and asked her, "You okay?"

Stephanie forced a smile, then thought about God. He wouldn't want her to lie to Matthew. She has to be happy, though. She'll show God's love through herself by...being herself. So she told him best she could. "Actually, I was thinking too much. But now I'm doing well because God is so good, you know? He can make two people so happy together." They reached the car and she smiled at him, satisfied with the answer she gave. He opened the door and watched as the couple also did the same, like her and him.

Stephanie stood looking at him before sitting in the car and he said, "Yeah, He can." His eyes went to the loved ones in the back and his head jerked to motion to look at the two.

But before she sat in, she said, "I didn't mean them." With that, she sat in and he stood there, staring out into the sky. Then, he got in and drove off.

Matthew came with their food orders and set them on the tall table with the spinning seats. Stephanie ran to him and squealed.

"Yum! Thanks, Matthew, you're the best!" She giggled, sticking a fry in her mouth and smiling at him, feeling like a young teen hanging with her friends at the bowling alley.

The loud sound of balls hitting the hardwood floor sounded in the whole room. The crash of them hitting the pins was heard over and over, it was obvious where one was. Sarah was on her turn to bowl, while Daniel cheered her on.

With the look on Matthew's face every time he looked at Stephanie, he obviously hadn't gotten over what she said before they left Sarah's house. God can make two people happy, and she was hoping He'd put them together. But she knew it was His will on who He had for her. But Matthew was already claiming her heart without realizing it.

"You okay? You don't seem the same." Stephanie waved a hand in front of his face and he blinked and smiled.

"Yeah."

"Lying is a sin, Matthew," she teased. "Tell me what is really wrong."

He gazed into her eyes and leaned in. "They make love look so easy."

She was stunned by his statement, but knew he was thinking hard about love ever since she told him she hadn't meant God making Sarah and Daniel happy. Even though God put them together, too.

She sighed. "Why would it be hard?"

He looked scared, but shook it away. "How does someone even know they're in love?"

Daniel called his name and Matthew hurried over for his turn. Stephanie thought for a moment at what he asked and then felt the hand of Sarah on her back. Matthew thought it was hard to love, or what? And is he saying he loves someone, but doesn't know it? Does he love her?

"You all right?" Sarah asked with great sympathy.

Stephanie figured she wouldn't ruin their day and smiled hard. God is in control now, she reminded herself. God is in control. Trust Him.

"Perfect." She grinned and walked back to the screen with their scores. Matthew was last to go on every turn. It went from Stephanie, to Sarah, to Daniel, to Matthew. Everyone had one turn so far on a ten-turn game. First one, Stephanie hit five pins and Sarah hit all. Daniel hit the gutter, but Sarah kissed him anyway. Matthew now hit only two. Whatever is on his mind must have affected him.

Stephanie came to the edge of the bowling stand and smiled. Here goes. "They just do, Matthew. You just feel it." She smiled when he looked back with the bowling ball in his hand. He held it like a feather, whereas she held it like it weighed more than her. And she got a light ball.

Matthew just looked with a small bit of doubt in his eyes, and then smiled. He swung the ball and threw it hard. It hit all the pins and Stephanie jumped for joy.

"Matthew! You did it! You hit all of them!" She squealed and smiled at him as he grinned at her and walked up to her.

"I think I am," he said, then walked to Daniel and high-fived. He looked at his score and Stephanie blinked, confused.

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[July 4, 20011]

Moments later, Stephanie was under the sheets staring out the window with the moonlight casting down through the curtains. She fell into a deep sleep and a dream appeared...

"Honey, I'm home," calls the man's voice.

Stephanie runs to the stairs from upstairs and quickly makes it downstairs. She sees him hanging his coat in the closet near the front door. She smiles to him and makes it to his side. He smiles down at her until it turns into a grin. She thrusts her arms around him and looks up into his dark blue eyes.

"Hey, beautiful." He leans in and kisses her tenderly upon the lips then moves back and caresses her cheek.

"How was work?" She smells his cologne and likes it.

"Not as good as this." He chuckles.

Next thing that happens is they're now walking in a field and he's walking ahead. He finally turns around and looks at her while he continues forward. Stephanie looks at him and cocks her head to one side.

"Why are you so far ahead?"

"I'm sorry." He gazes at her with an odd expression. He seems to be getting further and further.

"Matthew?" She calls his name.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Matthew, come back!" She tries to catch up, but he just looks at her as he continues to move forward.

"Matthew!" she yells.
"It's not time yet. Wait for me."
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[July 8th, 2011]

"Hey, so you caught it this time. You know what that means. You're next!" Her smiled faded when she saw Stephanie's frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was looking for someone. I thought they were here." She turned around and waved her hand. "Oh, well."

She didn't expect him to dissipate or just leave for whatever reason. He wasn't in the crowd, she looked. She could spot his face anywhere. Heather patted her back.

"Go look in the church. I'll meet you out here." She smiled before heading back to the crowd. Sarah waved from the top before sinking in and driving off. Stephanie would see them again for the reception in two hours.

She headed to the church quickly and fast. Once she entered, she looked back and forth, side to side. She didn't see him, so she walked in the wide open doors to the main sanctuary and looked around at all the pews. That's when she spotted the familiar head and the gelled up hair.

Matthew.

She walked slowly to him, as to not interrupt in case he wanted to be alone for a certain reason. She slipped in the pew and sat next to him. He was leaning over, his elbows on his knees, his hands on the sides of his head, and his head down. She rested her hand on his back and leaned with him.

He slowly let his hands fall and his head turned to her. He looked up at her. He wasn't smiling, or grinning, or anything sweet. He was just looking. As if something was getting to him. Like he wanted to cry, but wouldn't.

She smiled for him. He sat up straight as she took her hand off his back and rubbed his arm. Matthew took in a breath, then sighed as he looked up to the stage. When his gaze found hers, he grabbed her hand that sat on her lap and rested it between his. Finally, he spoke.

"Please don't worry about me. I'm fine." He picked her hand up, and then laid it back down. He soon let go of it and rested his elbows on his knees again, rubbing his face. She looked at him confused and displeased with his behavior.

"Worry about you? Why would I worry about you?" she asked, turning a little more to face him.

He shrugged. "Because of how I've been acting."

"I guess I haven't noticed until now," she said coldly.

He shook his head as he looked to the floor. "Please don't waste your time on me. Or in here. Go have fun with them."

Her heart suddenly was beating against her chest. His words hurt her in a way she didn't want to get used to; she didn't want to feel again. Her breathing increased now.

"Waste my time? Matthew, what are you talking about?" she punctured.

He sat up and looked at her. "Us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, us. I don't deserve you. I don't even deserve myself." He shook his head, looking at her a different way.

"Why do you say that?" She was about to cry; she knew it.

"Because," he started, "I can't provide you anything. I've been alone for a long time now. I live alone with a dog named chocolate, whom, might I add, is now gone." He looked down and rubbed his forehead. "I can't even stay on task at work, I didn't treat you with respect, I almost kissed you when I shouldn't even have been thinking about it. I live miles away and..." He stopped and began to sob as she watched his back move quickly up and down as he sobbed and breathed, sobbed and breathed, then a sigh.

She cocked her head and drew her eyebrows together. Why would he think such a thing?

"Matthew, I don--"

"Go!" He stood and pointed to the door. "Just go, please." His eyes showed fear and sadness.

She shook her head as she stood. "What--"

"Go!" he yelled.

Her heart hurt worse than ever. "Okay," she simply said, and walked out the door without looking back, tears welling up.
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[July 16, 2011 Sunday]

Riding back home from church, Stephanie took in a deep breath. She peered out the window and watched the trees go by, cars pass, and people walk to whatever destination they pleased. She wondered what went on in their lives. Was it as confusing as hers? Did they have someone in their life that they loved?

As she stopped at a red light, she decided to go left instead of right. And when she was there, she went right instead of left. Soon, she found herself in a neighborhood unknown to her. She turned on different streets until she was lost.

She drove out and saw the beach ahead. Once she parked her car at the side of the road, she looked to the right and saw the waves far out in the ocean. Getting out of the car, a butterfly flew and landed on her shoulder. Once she turned her head, it flew away. She watched as it fluttered its wings and flew to the sky.

What would it be like to fly? Just get away. Feel free....

She walked out to the sand a distance away. She found an area with no people around. Back around the rocks. She started to run to it, feel the breeze...

And feel the coolness on her cheek; the tears that now broke the dam and fell free. Why is she crying?

She threw her arms out to the tall rock and stopped herself. Falling to the floor, Stephanie rolled up in a ball and hugged her knees. She watched the water crash, the wind blow, and the sky slowly move. The sun was hiding behind the clouds. Just like she wanted to do when she couldn't think. Or couldn't STOP thinking.

She rested her chin on her kneecaps and let her arms fall to the sand. Picking up some sand in her hands, she let the soft, tiny grains fall through her fingers. Tears now poured slowly down her cheek.

She loves him. She can't stop thinking about him! It's like he's this shelter in the middle of the road. As if she was alone on a road to happiness and couldn't find a way. But there he was, this shelter. And when she found it, she wanted to stay. She didn't want to leave. She didn't want to leave his shelter.

She wanted to run into his arms and not let anyone disturb her, not even him. She wanted to look into his eyes and see forever. She wanted him to...love her, so she knows how it feels. She wanted to see his face, see her hero. She wanted God to hold both of them together because she loved him.
She got up from her spot and wiped her tears. Running up the hill, she made it back to her car and turned it on.
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UH OH.

I think I might drop my Photo-5 class. It's a night class. And my mom pretty much said I should probably drop it!

But it would make more sense...
=[ I would just be leaving my friend...and couldn't eat dinners with her every Wednesday evening.

I might just go one more day for the picture critiques and stuff.. get my photos back.. but yeah.

=]

Anyway! I'm thirsty! And then I gotta sleep! So yeah. :)

~Stephanie Ann

P.S.
I AM TRUSTING IN GOD.

The Answer Is...

God has given you something special.

Hold onto it.

Psh.

Apparently my cat was in the garage because my sister closed him in there without knowing.

=/
False alarm!

He's been around the house since.

Anyway...

Ugh.

I'm like...tired of not having places to go. :( It's somewhat depressing. I like getting out, doing things, having fun.

But I haven't heard from any of my friends (okay, so that's like only two people I refer to.)

Most of them either moved away, or we never do things. And plus, I can't even drive yet.

=/
And I told my mom I wanted to schedule an appointment to take my permit test, but apparently I have to WAIT! So now it's not even me. And I'm sure she already forgot about it.

And this is why I never had my permit like two years ago!

Anyway...

The only thing I got on my phone today was something from my mom. So it's working. But three people I've texted must be busy.. :( They never replied. Since like yesterday. Or my texts didn't go through..

*Sigh*

Hopefully tomorrow goes better.

Always,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
Today is nice outside.
♥♥

Come Back Home...

Today my sister said that my cat ran outside in the morning...

He hasn't returned since and it's already past 10pm.

I sat outside after praying to God that He'd keep Venny (Kidey) safe and bring him home.

As I sat out there, I listened to music.

This made me cry. :( I was just picturing him returning home and me hugging him tight.

I come to realize how much I really do love that cat. When no one is home, I always have him to talk to, or just hug and kiss, even if he doesn't like it!

I grew quite attached to my cat...and now I'm a little worried. I do hope he either appears tonight, or tomorrow. And I really hope he's not hurt! He never leaves this long, especially now that he's already neutered. He always comes back, even if just for food.

His food bowl is full.

=[

My sister and I went walking earlier to see if he was around the neighborhood, but there was no sight of him.

I'm really glad I didn't find him on the floor hurt, or worse, dead. But I don't know where he could be!

I do hope...that come tomorrow...he'll be home and I won't have to be sad..

I will keep praying that God leads Kidey home...

='.[

As for now...the tears will probably put me to sleep...

Sincerely,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
He'll come back...right?

♥♥

Uh.

Ugh! It would help if things made a little more sense!
GEEZ MANEEZ.

Anyway... I need to go to another loud football game to let out more screams.

Like now.

Bleh.

Last Night's Football Game.

Oh em gee. The football game was AMAZING.

Haha! I kid, I kid. First of all, I cannot pay attention to a football even if I was the only person sitting watching it.

That's what friends are for!

So the game was really LOUD. And there were like a MILLION people there. It was crazy! I screamed with my friends a lot. We sung random songs too. Usually when something big happened everyone cheered and scream, whilst I looked over to my friend and we shrugged!

Yeah, I'm not a football fan. But it was fun to get out and do something, go somewhere, and be with people you can have fun with. I sorta used up my voice, but it seems okay today.

I took a few pictures, as well as my friend Kelsey taking some. I used my old camera, and was reminded of how I don't like it. Haha. It works though, so that's good!

Steven and I went cRaZy, screaming, singing, hitting, and all that random st00f. But I'm glad he could go! I do stalk him after all. =]

But yeah. 'Twas a fun night! Maybe we'll all go and do it ALL OVER AGAIN. Football games are my excuse to be able to SCREAM and SING LOUD. :D Am I right, or am I right? (I'm probably right).

Well, I have a photo shoot today in about 2 hours! So I'll have to get ready eventually and stuff.

Untilllll next tiiiime!
♥♥Stephanie♥♥

P.S.
Oh em gee.

Friendship and Waiting.

I read on this quote about the difference between friendship and lovers, and I thought it was quite interesting. I just notice how lost this world has become, and how my generation has found itself lost in it.

Friends stand side by side, where as lovers stand face to face.

When you're side by side, you can look forward together, and focus on what lies ahead. When you're face to face, you're paying attention to the relationship. The distraction is the person in front of you. It can also draw you away from what you're suppose to be doing. It can distract you from what God has in plan.

I'm not saying this for people who are lovers or anything, that they're distracting each other. I mean that some people start to focus too much on the relationship that they miss out on today.
That includes friendships. Once you realize you're starting to focus on the friendship too much, and thinking about the relationship, it has turned into something more than "just friends."

I watch the people around me, and hear so many stories. And I think about myself.

Yeah, sometimes it is hard to remain perfectly content about where I'm at today. To be fine with all the choices I make, like remaining friends with everyone I meet.
Maybe I have it easy? Or maybe I have it just like everyone else, I just make different decisions.

Sometimes I wonder... am I the only person my age that has sustained myself from getting too involved in "having to have someone?" Am I the only person who is saving the first kiss for the alter? Am I the only one trying to keep myself as pure as I can for my future husband? Is HE even doing it?

Am I the only one that prays for the person I'll one day be ONE with? Am I the only person I know that even CARES as much as I do for each of my friends, for their lives? Am I the only person who cries and prays for her friends, that they may be happy, blessed, and taken care of by our Father who is in Heaven?

Am I the only one who watches out for them, and tries to be a shining light, no matter how many times I might fail?

Where has this world gone? Where are the people who believe in purity and waiting, and living for today, instead of yesterday?

All of my days, I want to live for God. I want to shine. I want to encourage others. I want...people to know that they are loved. If not by people, then by God... And me.

Are you crying and in need of someone to talk to? Because here I am! Waiting for that ONE call just to say "I am here for you." Who cares what time it is? If I'm available with my phone, then by all means, I will answer and be there. Sure, maybe it'll be a time that I'm not my best, but when you share YOUR problems...you're helping me fix MINE. You'd be HELPING ME.

Why can't we just grow in friendships and help each other? Why do we have to cling to people and cry for something more...at the age of 13 even! You should be enjoying life, not the opposite gender because you think that's a part of growing up! It's not. They're your brothers and sisters, your friends.

There is going to be a day you'll realize that of all your friends, there is someone different. There is going to be a day you'll realize that one of them stands out. There is going to be a day that you'll realize someone means something to you in ways you'd have never thought the day you met them.

There is going to be a day that God is going to present them to you to tell you, "This is them." And that just might be your time to know He has something more to you. And if you have waited and prayed and believed He'd bring them to you, you'll be blessed with what exactly you need.

I say this to the people who feel alone and feel like there is "no one" for them. Or to the people who do not think the single life is for them... Or for the ones who have given up.

There is someone for you. But have you made God your true love?

Never take someone for granted. Everyone has a purpose in your life. Everyone has a reason as to why you know them. They all help you to grow and mold into who you are.

You must watch your friends. Make sure who you're hanging out with isn't distracting you from your journey God has for you. Make sure the people around you aren't influencing you in the wrong ways. Watch your mouth. Are you blessing people with the things you say? Are you encouraging them, or criticizing them?

Be a shining star in this world...and you'll definitely stand out.

And one day...you won't be blind to the one special person God had for you the whole time.

And they'll stand out. They'll be shining. They'll be smiling.

If they made the same decision you have...it'll be amazing.


How can I say this if I haven't lived this life myself?

Because I'm waiting for it. And I believe God works in amazing ways. I'm willing to wait and see. I'm willing to allow Him to control my WHOLE life.

God doesn't need to tell me who He has for me for me to wait. God doesn't need to tell me his name yet for me to be faithful to him. He'll tell me eventually. But for now.. I wait. I pray. And I be that person I think my future husband deserves. Even if he might not think he deserves it.

He does...because God loves him.


♥Always,♥
Stephanie Ann

Just Wow.

I am in the ... weirdest time in my life. I think! It could get more weird and stuff.

Although I'm coping with it. I'm learning. It's tough, yeah. But I'm moving along...


Confused yet?

Hmm. There's college. Getting myself to be ready for the permit test and then learning how to drive. Making money somehow. Keeping in touch with my friends. Remaining patient. Being kind! And such.

Pretty much. I'm not going to write out the complete truth on this public blog thingy. I don't think anyone knows about it yet! But I have it anyway.. =] It makes me feel better. I'm sorta writing to myself...that's why.

Anyway...I gotta take a shower and all that jazz!

I did write out my true feelings on paper. ;)

Although Life May Be Weird,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
I like putting a P.S.. It's a habit! ^^

Excitement!

Today I am going to a five-year-old's birthday at like 1pm or somewhere around there.
It's about an hour and a half away, I think!
But anyway, it's really hot these days!

Tomorrow I'll probably do something fun with the one and only perfect friend. --->
Yay!

Excitement (as the title says) is referring to the million things in my head! There will be a laser tag trip with all our friends once we pick a day. I'm excited for that and I hope a LOT of people can go! It's always fun with more people. And my birthday is a tiny bit less than two months away! (November 3rd).

I'll be eighteen! Finally. I want to have a family-bring-a-friend dinner at Hometown Buffet the day of. Then I want a little party gathering to hang out and celebrate turning 18 with my friends (you know, cake, singing, presents, etc.). And for kicks, I want to gather everyone and go ice skating because my two other friends did that and we decided it'd only make sense for me to do it for my 18th birthday too! Haha.

AND if anyone wants to do something special for me 'cause they love me, I WOULD BE HAPPY.

Every year my friends ask me "What do you want for your birthday?" And EVERY year I say "I don't know. You don't have to get me anything!" And then they say, "But I AM. So what do you like?" And I reply, "I DON'T KNOW." But they keep saying, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

It's not something easy to answer.

So this year, if they ask me, I am going to ask for BIG things. Like a car. A house. Money. A new phone. And such. Things that they can't actually get me (unless they were filthy rich). And they'll be like, "No, seriously."
And I'll reply, "Something soft and cuddly."

Imagine if I said that answer to everyone! I'd probably get a million soft and cuddly things! Hahaha.

I don't want to ask that from anyone.

Besides. I'd rather just have their presence at my party. =]

And their unconditional and undying LOVE. <3

Hehe!

Welp, until I post again...

Always,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
He makes fajitas!?

Me and Jesus.

Someone loves you, even when you don't think so, don't you know? You've got me and Jesus! =]

So today I somewhat am cleaning my room, it's just getting sort of boring. I guess I'll be going to eat dinner with my sister and her friends, unless I invite some people. But I don't know who's available, so I guess I'll have to ask.

Guess freakin' WHAT? I did bad on text messaging this month. Hehe! It gets reset on like the 7th, but I can only send probably like 26 more before I go over. So basically I should probably call about things more often so that doesn't happen. (Or use Yahoo SMS messaging).

Anyway, I'm hoping this weekend doesn't turn out crazy. So many plans are just coming at me and I can't ...keep up! Which means I usually end up sitting at home (like today) because I tried keeping it open for whatever reasons as to not interfere with plans that basically were never planned. Confusing much, do not you think?

Well, at least it gave me time to sorta clean stuff here in my room. Even though I didn't do much to make a difference, but I did wash clothes and all I need to do is tidy everything up and it'll look a little more decent. :]

I was listening to "Me and Jesus" by Stellar Kart just now, hence the title of this blog.

But it's true! The lyrics I put on top of this blog are amazing if you really think about it. I LOVE to be the type of person whom you feel you can trust and share things with. I absolutely CARE for my brothers and sisters in Christ, how could I turn any of them down? Sometimes it's tough saying the right things...but in many cases...they just want a listening ear!

Anyway, I just felt like updating somewhat of what's going on. Nothing much lately, but hopefully something fun or BIG will occur so I can write about it and stuff.

Much Love,
Stephanie Ann

P.S.
My mommy won't get unlimited texting yet! :(

Give it ALL.

Today I feel much... better! I don't know. Something helped with that, of course.
But last night I had some prayer about something I've never actually specifically prayed for! I mean, I have somehow, but not EXACTLY the way I did last night. And I did MEAN it.

So today I woke up to my phone vibrating, but I could not find it because I had no idea where I left it the night before. Hehe. Well, I was like freakin' out. Not literally, but it just sounds funny! I didn't know what time it was but I was thinking it was somewhere around nine o'clock and that my friend Steven might text while he's at school during his break. Because he's all lonely and stuff, I was like DUDE. WHERE IS MY PHONE? Haha. Anyway, I found it in my pants pocket, and I was like.. o.O Hehehehe. SO yeah. I got to the text in time.

But anyway, I like RARELY ever see this friend anymore, so it's kinda like text messages are all we communicate by... Sad, but things will get better! ^^ Hence why I'm happy. Because God is pretty awesome. I mean, He brings people into our lives for specific reasons, and then when we grow confused, all we have to do is go STRAIGHT to Him and PRAY. If we let Him take control, things will start making sense.

I say this and know nothing of the future, might I remind you. :)

As for today, I'm feeling pretty good...

Until Next Time,
Stephanie Ann

My Very First Blog.

I have a lot of feelings.

Don't we all?

I mean, why am I not just writing them down? I feel like it makes sense if I do. So I am. And it's at a place where it's not that obvious. Actually, it is, but only to people who know about it.


Who is going to read everything I write? I mean, that requires usually a pre-friendship with me. Someone who knows me and cares for my feelings, in which they'd take the time to read this.

In any case... this is where I will share all my... ushy gushy, lovey-dovey, depressing, happy, confused, and all the goods...stuff.

The One and Only,
Stephanie Ann