Distance Contained.

[I spoke too soon and must write.]

The day was special, up until the end. But the moment I decided to let it all go and change my mood, you turned down my offer of a hug; my action made to feel better. I'll look past that, I planned to do it while you made up excuses. It wasn't my intention to appear rude--I cracked. Your attitude did not change even for that one day--my day to be exact. I was used to most of it, but do you ever stop? I'm not sure you considered any of my feelings that day. And now I'm left with one memory of it all. For the most part the day was good. Of course, it'd make more sense if it was just a normal day. But it wasn't.

You've known me longer, but probably made her day better. For me it's "happy birth anniversary" because that makes more sense to you. But for her, it's "happy birthday" with a little extra added, of course. Maybe you saw her, and maybe she got a hug. Maybe her feelings aren't wrestled with and she's fine and dandy. You please her just enough for nothing to matter.

I force nothing upon you and silence my speech. There's nothing you can do unless it contains distance. You can't even prove that a hug means nothing. I won't ask for one anymore. I never really do, but for the sake of my day and you somehow being one of my close friends, I thought I'd ask (seeing as how it didn't come naturally). But that's okay, it's just not your thing anymore. Who knows what happen to that person; I sorta miss him, but I'll get over it.

I'm beyond thankful for the kindness you did show. I guess I just wish it ended well instead. Or maybe I wish I was emotionless and didn't really care. Maybe I wish a new personality helped me forget everything. I'm trying to forget your existence now for the sake of my heart. If the friendship isn't mutual, it's hardly friendship. You work out nothing with me, so I need to stop trying. I seek to please those around me by being a better person. I do it often with you. But if you don't see it that way, then I suppose nothing matters.

Now I'm left with one memory of it all. On my day...you couldn't even say happy birthday to me.

Our friendship now contains distance. Maybe you're happy now.