The One Thing in My Life.

The overact of caring comes from the indescribable effect of the need to love. Every scratch, every slap, every bruise, and every sting drifts off into the past of forgotten faults. Each word that flows out of my mouth and into your ears is finally too late to keep silent. I only held it in so that it'd burst out when it had to. I've become this person in your life that never knew the need to try so very hard to become better. It has become and remained tough for one simple reason--I have accepted you.

Along acceptance became tears to describe my true feelings. To look at a human being who looks exactly who I'd desire to spend my entire life with and see a wall right in front of him. Along came signs and words spoken in my mind so loudly that I grew hope that the reality of now was temporary. Each and every passing day I remained staring at that wall, my heart slightly cracking along the way.

It has become the one thing in my life that I want to hold on to so that I never give up. To wonder why I received such signs and to think it's not over. The many times I've felt like letting go and giving up, I could not. Something always told me that it is not over. I saw this as a battle, a fight, for something great, something true. I wanted to fight it with my whole heart. To love and learn from it all. It has become a challenge and I do not want to fail.

I never did get my chance to become something special. I remained thankful for just a friendship. I accept where I stand. I'll love that very human being just the way he is. But I'll continue to meanwhile hope that we've not discovered the true meaning of our purposes. If I receive yet another sign that leads me to you, I'll go through the heartbreak of still accepting our reality. Our two different views on love may not be that much different. But the love I've come to know is what lead me to keeping you around. And loving you just the way you are. :)