Us.

I should not have cried. But it's not too terribly bad that I did result to sorrow over our nonexistent matter. You see, I began thinking of breaking down into pieces in front of you. I know not what to say, and I know not what to do. Meanwhile I have this great hope that God is sorting it all out for us. He is where I leave my pain and gain my faith. But as I imagined looking you in the eyes and telling you I'm at a loss for actions concerning what hurts me, I cried in the dark.

I have a tendency to hold onto your sweater during these times. You left a part of you when you gave it to me. Somehow. I still can't fully understand how I managed to have that sweater in my possessions. Two years before I received it, I stole it. A day after that I became sick so I wore it. It gave me comfort in a very unexplainable way. Eventually I returned it to you and it was just never the same since. A year after, I had it again when I was much too cold to take it off before departing your car. Who would have thought that a year after that...you'd finally just let me keep it? But now, to my benefit, I treasure it.

I've seen our situation as a battle. Deep within that battle I know there's an enemy who wants not only to destroy me, but you too. I've decided to serve a God who is much stronger than that enemy and have taken the time to pray daily for you so that you may not be destroyed. It is during my prayers that I wish you were near. In those moments where I weep for you, I'm only hoping it's not over. Because even if the enemy wants you destroyed, I most certainly do not! And I will do all that I can to surround you with love. Not just from me, but from God. I've witnessed a man being called by being the one He asked to pray for him.

If I were to cut you off from my life, I'd fear our mutual pain. Because I know that deep down inside your tender beating heart, you care for me more than I can tell. And you're holding on almost as tight as I am. If the chains that hold me to you were to break, you'd feel it too. Behind the thought of saying good-bye to you follows the tears of losing my best friend. No, I do not understand how we got to this point with a live friendship. All I know though is that we did. Why was it so important that God had to sit us next to each other over three years ago? Ever since then it's been so easy to keep you around because He's managed to hook us. He's also made you quite appealing to me. I know it took time for me to really see that, but you're a beautiful sight in my eyes. I love you in the inside where it counts, and the outside where you smile.

I might have left something with you. But I'm not asking for it back.