Just Another Answer.

I'm afraid to become impatient, or demand God to move. I trust His timing and His choices. I just need continuous guidance from Him because I'm afraid I'll easily make my own path. I know He is moving and He has been moving. He's showed me tiny blessings, movements, miracles, and signs.

But I am becoming torn between two different worlds. One I live in, and one I want to live in. The one I want to live in is the one I've dreamed to live in. But who am I to know what I need? I just want an answer. But if not that answer to the question I have, then perhaps a knowledge that I'm going down the right path.

The only important thing is to know you're following God. When I read His word, sometimes I think maybe the answer is staring me in the face. But it is. God is the only One who knows how to mend a broken heart. The only One who knows how to give us unending love and exceeding happiness. He provides the joy we seek and the love we long to have. He's absolutely my everything.

All I desire is to love with an unconditional love. To be that big difference in my generation. I hope and pray with all the faith I have that I will in fact make a different in at least o n e person's life.

Surreptitious Thoughts.

Sometimes we’re oblivious to our own thoughts and we continuously allow them to pass until one day our eyes open. We then realize that we’ve had secret thoughts we were unaware of. Reality slaps us in the face and confesses all our surreptitious thoughts. Perhaps it’s just me, or maybe it happens to everyone. We can’t know when we’ll see our hidden thoughts, but we’ll know once it happens. It’s not something we speak of until it’s revealed—but maybe that’s the beauty in it all. We could be missing out on the most precious treasure in our lives! Which means that eventually we’ll discover it and enjoy it.

Hiding thoughts can be an interesting thing when we hide compliments from someone else. Eventually it just bursts out at the perfect timing and we see that it’s exactly what the other person needed. Although we kept it secretly to ourselves, they were longing to hear it. And perhaps they were oblivious to their longing to hear it! The moment the words escape our mouth new secret thoughts form. Maybe it’s this one big cycle our mind goes through and never informs us of!

Maybe I’m not making any sense. Or maybe I’m making complete sense. I’ve been unaware of my own thoughts and they’ve slowly been revealed to me. I realize that I was drawn to something that only time could make known to me. Even the smallest things could change our life. Too often we lack to take the road that could make a difference.

Unexplainable Happiness.

I'm not sure what got into me, I was this completely crazy person laughing over the dumbest things. I don't know why I had random urges to run or lay in the middle of the road acting dead. But it has occurred to me that I've recently been happier than before. I guess I don't have full control over it. I think I'm just being me, but I'm shining extremely bright, despite my obliviousness to the change.

Honestly, are you experiencing any unexplainable happiness at all? I don't get you. The happiness is enough for me though. I guess I can quit hiding it. I sure won't deny it either. I'm done trying to ignore the tiny things that stand out. I'll just let them happen. It interests me and it's somehow fun! To hear you answer my question before I ask it, or read my mind. I get the urge to hit you because I fail to remember your reaction. Perhaps hitting is my way of making an alternate to hugging.

I suppose that is rather pathetic. As much as I love hugs, I think I don't give them to you because it might be awkward for you. I do notice how others are around you and I have realized that I am completely different. But I'm fine with that, so I suppose it doesn't matter.

All I know is that nothing should ruin this happiness.

It serves a purpose. :)

X Marks the Happiness.

Maybe happiness was a buried treasure in the most obvious places. Maybe happiness had giant, bold, and bright x's for us to find and dig up. Too often we walked right over it. Maybe it's merely our fault for not digging up the happiness.

It's not something we should be afraid of, to dig it up and find it. What if God sprinkled happiness in the most perfect places, so that we can water it and discover it? What if the only reason we don't have happiness is because we don't seek it--we don't find it! I won't be a failure at happiness. I want to embrace it and never let it go.

They say you know when you've found what you're looking for. You know because you stop questioning it. Once you question it, you don't know anymore. They say you just know when you get the right answer. You know because you don't wonder anymore, because you don't doubt you've found it. You know because you feel content and happy about it.

You know because you're happy.

Happiness is exactly where the treasure is. On a map to find the X, we strive to find it fast. But the journey to get the X makes it all the more special. It's happiness on that map, waiting for us to discover it and accept it. Will we bother to find the bold and obvious X? Or will we carelessly walk right over it?

You make the choice.

I'm discovering the happiness and I'm determined to water it.