Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Dislike of Disappointment.

Is it ridiculous to be saddened over how easily disappointment can be found? For just a few moments, I am lacking to ignore that obliterating feeling. It's a one-time only thing to me, to claim, that I'm easily put down when I have to miss it. Like not being able to have a party on my birthday, knowing I'd have to wait a whole entire year before being able to attempt it again. The fear and disappointment hits me hard, as if I'll miss that chance. Once I get into this mode, I begin to do whatever I can do to make it work.

I've come to truly understand myself. That giving up does not come easily at all to me. I have this strong perseverance inside of me for the things that are so heavy in my heart. I have the willingness to keep trying until I'm satisfied and happy. But too easily I am saddened as it does not happen.

I lost a lot while growing up. Maybe that's why.

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